Words are Just Words After All, Right?

Words, we use them all day long, in constructive ways or in negative ways.  We were brought up with the saying “sticks and stones can break our bones but words will never hurt me.” Well that’s a lie. I think that was someone that wanted to show you that no matter what you said you could not hurt them, but on the inside they were hurt deeply.

Why would we use them to break people down? Break ourselves down? Talk ourselves out of amazing ideas? I heard an interview the other morning that made me rethink a belief I had all my life.  I heard Michael Jackson talking about channeling his music and lyrics.  He woke up at 3 am one morning, called his manager and said I have to make this track, I have to record this song that I got while sleeping.  The manager said OK, we will get to it first thing in the morning. Michael said NO, if I don’t do it now then Prince will have it.  He was talking about the Universe or God, whichever you want to call it, doesn’t discriminate.  He gives you an idea, an intuition, a passion and if you don’t act on it, then he will give it to the next person.  I was always raised with the belief if you miss it the first time around it will come back to you.  I absolutely love when new information is brought to the table and you can question your own belief, look at your own life, test out the new theory to see if it could fit into your world and change according to your own theory.

Words we say to ourselves and others are so powerful.  Not only is the spoken word powerful when we write it down it contains even more gusto.  Our words are the bridge between what our heart really wants and our God or Universe.  Our words literally turn into flesh.  Jay-Z has said many times you can speak your future into existence.  It really is not magic or unknown.  What we speak about we bring about.  What we say we want, such as peace but are angry we aren’t ready for peace.  We still want to make the other person pay and we will manifest what we are feeling because the words we speak to ourselves are far more powerful than what we say to others.  Why is that? Think about it, when we are upset, we act one way to keep a certain reputation, but on the inside a storm is brewing and explodes eventually. Have you ever done this? Is your personality the type that keeps things in that bothers you until you explode?  Do you see how keeping it in, not just letting it go brings more of the same icky energy to you? Words really do matter, words really can hold you back or push you forward.

What if you told yourself all day long, you can do it, you got this.  That the problem has a solution, just look at the situation differently.  Here is one I use when I am not sure of the situation, but I do know I want it to turn out better than those negative thoughts that creep up: My trust fund is gigantic! Only good can come from this! I can’t wait to see what good comes from this! The perfect solution is here now, and I accept it fully.  I expect only the best outcome and I receive it. For this I am extremely grateful.  Believe it, see it and you will!

Not knowing the ending is just fear, and I think fear stands for Fearing Everyone else is Always Right. We put more value on them instead of our own instincts and knowing what is right for ourselves.  Don’t let those fearful words creep up on you today or any day for that matter.  Use your words to empower yourself not lose power.

~Much love to you all

Let Go of It

One reason people resist change is because they focus on what they have to give up instead of what they have to gain.  ~Rick Godwin

Have you ever gotten the message of your dream? Have you ever learned anything from a dream? Other than we wake up from it if we dont’ like it?

My dream last night had to do with change.  I have always embraced change, enjoyed the process of it and welcomed it with open arms.  It’s like opening a window on a windy day and letting the new breeze in.  I dreamt of a situation that has been on my mind for a long time now.  Something that has held me back from what I enjoy, due to the thoughts and actions of others.  I use to not care at all what others thought.  I watched myself in this dream justify, reason and come up with excuses over and over.  It was like I was talking to myself but I was talking to a loved one.  I even said “these are my manuscripts about it.” IF you read them you will understand.” UMMMMM……… NO………….

You have to move on, go on, and go forward.  Turn the page of that manuscript to realize there is so much more to your book of life than just what you have written down so far.  Get off that page you are stuck on! Stop being afraid, stop letting fear keep you on that page, keep you in that excuse.  Close that book and start a new one if you have too. Start to see what you want to do in life. If you have NO idea then start to move away or go in the opposite direction of what you have been doing.   Never, ever re-read or dwell on those past pages, let them go, have comfort that the memories are safely kept on those pages so you don’t have to keep going over them again and again.

Don’t spend you days trying to correct all the mistakes of the past, instead let go, let God or the Universe create something better for your future.  Another way to look at it and remind yourself to move on is you don’t drown by falling in the water, you drown by staying in it.  Have you ever climbed on the monkey bars? Gettting over a painful experience is much like crossing those monkey bars. You are sore, your hands hurt, you breath hard while trying to swing from one bar to the next.  You get calluses on your hands usually too.  You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.  At the end of crossing all of them you feel accomplished even with all the aches and pains.  You can look at those bars and say I did it!

Move on from those old stories that are keeping you in the same place.  Move forward in life and enjoy it.  Nothing lasts forever, we always have options.  And as one of my clients so easily put it “Drinking my big girl coffee, I put on some gangster rap and then I handled the day and situation.”  Go out there and shed the blanket that has been weighing you down, shed those excuses, and get moving toward a life that has so much more to offer.

What if I promised that your life could turn out in a completely different direction? How? Your smart enough to realize one small change can bring a mountain of change if done consistently over and over.  So try it. Pick some small things to do and consistently do them over and over and see what changes occur.  For example, drink more water, that should be an easy one, but for my little blonde brain it is a tough one and these past couple of days I have increased my intake and I feel a ton better today.  Working towards a goal, keep consistently doing the steps and what looked like a mountain is now a mole hill.  Just go for it!!!

And above all else, don’t be ashamed of your story, it will inspire others, even when they want to silence you due to their own insecurities.  Be grateful for what all you have now, who you are right now, and then expand on that.

~Much love to you all

 

Rebirth 

So often I share, inspire and lead with what I have experienced with myself or my clients with you. These past couple of months I have debated in sharing my own story or journey in one area of my life wth you all. To see how a coach handles things for herself. To peak into what an”expert” goes through on a daily basis and struggles of her own. 

I have been ignoring health area for a long time. I just go on my merry way day in and day out. Coaching others not to ignore the white elephant in the room and tackle the issue head on. Well today is my day to finally tackle my white elephant in the room and once and for all get a handle on it. 

Waking up and going to bed with chest pain is not fun. It is mainly due to hormones out of control and I was told this with my last pregnancy, that hormones mess with my heart big time. When the time came and my estrogen levels would begin to be all over the place I would HAVE to do something about it. So laying awake with this achy feeling in my back next to my spine, achy feeling going down my left arm and into my face it can put things in perspective real quick!!!  Questions went through my mind as is this it? Have I done everything I wanted to do in life? Have I served enough? Been a good enough person? What about my kids? My husband and my family and friends. It is an awaking that just sucks when it gets to this point. 

I have always empathisized with my friends and clients when they go through these questions. Tackled each question, answered it through my heart and game plan for action steps for each one. Now it’s my turn. No I haven’t done everything I want yet. No I’m not ready to have these issues. And NO I’m not ready to live in fear of what’s going on with my heart. So I’m taking action steps starting today. A rebirth of myself in so many ways that will make positive changes not only with me but those around me. 

So for a couple of months I will be writing about struggles, how I am working through them by example. Busting through my own excuses and looking at each excuse for what it is. A  big lie, a fear and there is no reason why I should be fearful. The alternative I don’t want and it’s pushing past limits and going for life. 

In the next couple of months I will conquer exercise, eating right, drinking more water and most of all fear busting. Because really why would I be fearful of being healthy? Being the best me I can be. When you think about it that’s just silly. So why do I fight myself? Why wouldn’t I put myself first and my health? Heck it can’t be that hard to make a protein shake, exercise 30 minutes three times a week, drink a heck of a lot more water and eat better. It shouldn’t be that hard to even take a daily vitamin. But for some reason I have made it impossible to get those things done everyday. My excuses I tell myself are comical at times and I’m sure I will share those with you all. 

My husband and I own a gym. So gym membership is not a problem. My healthy cooking is not a problem. I come up with the nose creative heathy dishes that others seem to healthy for them. I mean I don’t go outside and get tree bark and blend it in a blender but the looks I get I might as well. This is a lifestyle change not only for me but us as a family. Lead by example and I have a feeling changing this part of me will only lead to bigger and better changes. 

Much love to you all 

You can share with me any suggestions, support or your struggles :) 

Limited or Unlimited Thinking

Which of these statements sound like what you think and say to yourself during the day?

Do you think People are out to get me?

OR

Everyone is always helpful, everyone I meet today is here to help me out even when I don’t realize it.

Each one of these beliefs will create different experiences in our lives and what becomes true for us on a daily basis.  Thinking everyone is always helpful even when I don’t realize it means we are open to possibilities, opportunities we want but don’t know how we will receive.

What we tell ourselves over and over we begin to believe so our world must manifest what we believe, right? Both of those statements is a foundation or starting point to having limited choices or unlimited choices that can come into your life.

I love to experiment and play with the law of attraction.  I have manifested some pretty amazing stuff that I should not have been able to manifest.  I have literally beaten the odds many times, and manifest things for my friends, family and clients.  The beautiful thing I have found out is the more open you are the more doors open up.  For example I love playing this game in the car.  Have you ever been irritated in the car, like to the point you are snapping out loud? Then others in the car begin to get pissy and it snowballs from there. Pretty soon everyone in car is in a bad mood and it is silent.  It truly does just take one person for this experiment to work.

Here is what I do in this circumstance, (everyone is helpful statement) I take a deep breath, a couple of them sometimes, and I change my perspective.  Everything that has bothered me up to that point I delete it, I literally open up the window and let it out.  People will be more annoyed that you opened up the window for a second but I just say a bug was on my window and I let it go.  Since no one really likes bugs in the car.  Next I begin to think and feel myself into a better place.  I block out all the noise, the negative feelings in the car.  I imagine positive, love, friendship and laughter filling my car.  When I relax inside me, it changes the inside of the car.  I take it a step further and time the event, to see how long it takes for positive vibes to affect everyone in the car.  My first time it took about 10 minutes for it to fully engulf the people in the car.  Now it takes me less time because I have done it over and over and it becomes a new habit.

There is no perfect way to manifest, it is a trial and error on your part. What works for one person in there step by step ways doesn’t always work for the other person.  Why? Because we are all unique, we all have our own stories, our own special blocks, our own minds. Collectively I can give the tools, fine tune them as we get to know each other and I can teach you that way.  The easy things to manifest such as the example above can be taught collectively in a group to show results.  It’s the big things that you want, that needs more one on one attention to get.  You have it inside of you, you have all the tools and answers it is just discovering them and using them.  Like a rusty wheel, it has to be applied daily, it has to be a new habit in your life and you will get what you want.  A change in our perspectives is the very first step, without changing your mind you can’t change your circumstances.  Make sense?

I can list impossible things I should have never ever been able to manifest and even I go back and look at how I did it.  One of my best ones was moving out of a house with my family, we hadn’t even started to look for new houses, gather any paperwork, or even have a down payment for a house. In less than 90 days we not only closed on a new home, a job loss occurred while in the loan process (should have killed the loan),  and moved into a beautiful new home.  I have manifested amazing friends, mentors, jobs, winning prizes, doors opening at the perfect time, moving, amazing opportunities for friends and family.

So how do I do it? Like I keep saying it is different for everyone.  But what I can rule out for you is trying to delete the negative thoughts don’t work. Why? Number one rule, the more you dwell on what you don’t want, the more you create it.  The things about yourself or your life you dislike are probably still with you.  This took awhile to get through in my head.  I read it, I understood it but I still didn’t see that I was applying it.

When I first started my business I would visualize my calendar full, my days were filled with what I enjoyed doing, I was surrounded by good.  But what I focused on usually was how slow my business was, I wasn’t closer to a goal I had set, I felt discouraged, I felt deflated, and I kept going back and forth.  Insert saying ” the more you dwell on what you don’t want, the more you create it.” I was in the shower when It finally hit me! I was still thinking about the lack of the circumstance. I wasn’t believing I could have it, It wasn’t in my core belief system YET! I began to watch what I said, I began to write it out what I wanted every morning to engrain it my head, I really put all of my positive attention onto what it was that I really wanted to do, be and have. I took the BUT out of my belief.  I see myself having a full calendar BUT I see that I don’t. Make sense?

In what ways are you talking yourself out of your dreams? Out of your manifestations? How can I help you? Reach out to me by email mindsdochange@aol.com or comment on the post

~much love to you all

 

Options, We Always Have One

Do you find yourself in a constant daily habit of perpetuating a cycle of drama in your mind? Is it filling up space in your mind that should be instead filled up with possibilities of ways it can work?

For example, do you play over and over again a scene in your head, it can be a circumstance that has happened already and you just can’t let it go.  Or it can be a made up scenario in your mind that you think can happen or it will happen that way.

A person who use to be in my life a lot was a master at this, and I learned first hand how this skill can be used to your advantage or to your disadvantage, and being on the receiving end of it, I could see it better. We had been having some problems and we didn’t communicate that well with one another. He was at work and this is how a phone conversation went the best I can remember, but the impression of the situation left a bigger mark.  He had been away from all morning, at lunch I received a call stating “you don’t love me, you never have loved me, I have been thinking about it all morning.” Wow, really? What kind of thoughts have you been thinking all morning? He admitted he had been replaying all the scenarios in his head, made up or reality based to confirm his new belief.  I just saw, heard and experienced how we can convince ourselves of a belief whether it was true or not and hard wire it in our head.  Maybe on some level it was really his way of coping with what was going on, but it opened my eyes up to how powerful our words are that we tell ourselves over and over.  We do begin to believe the words, good or bad, positive or negative and it becomes a new reality to us, so therefor we have to search for confirmation that the new belief is now true.  New circumstances have to happen in order for it to come true.

How about when we are so eager and excited about a new business opportunity. We have the supporting staff, we have the momentum to keep going, but that one dream stealer comes into our world and knocks us off our pedestal and we spiral back down.  Sometimes the words coming from others of I don’t think you can do that” or “I wouldn’t go that route” It let’s fear and doubt come in, the door you shut is now open again and what do you do? You have an option, you always have an option. No matter what the circumstance is you have options, no one can take that away from you.

What you do is take that option and go for your goal.  It really doesn’t matter what someone else’s belief is.  I sat and tried to talk to him and give him all the examples I showed him that I did love him.  He didn’t want to hear any of them. He was dead set on the fact that I had never ever loved him, not even for a moment. I couldn’t say anything that was going to prove my point because it was complete opposite of his and he was right. So my option was to accept and move on, I wasn’t going to waste my time convincing someone of a feeling. They aren’t me, they have no idea what is going on inside my head. If you are ever faced with trying to argue a point about feelings, just don’t step into it. Your feelings do matter, and only you can validate your own feelings.  Their feelings are theirs, they own them, and you do not have to buy into their minds reality, you just know what goes on with you.

Recently we had a talk in our house, and we are still talking about it, a teen here in town made a huge mistake. She decided she didn’t have any more options and thought her only option was to take her life. Now we don’t assume the circumstances behind this action, we don’t judge, but listen to me, you always have an option. No matter how bad it seems to get, you always have an option. Tomorrow is a different day, tomorrow can hold the complete opposite of today. Your mind is strong and it can convince you of it looking good or bad.  Your beautiful mind can change, it is heart breaking to see family, friends and teens cope with the tragedy.  Please make this a new mantra if you haven’t already in your life, we always have options. You always have options, options are an amazing life changer.

~much love to you all

I am still rolling towards my goal of helping 1,000 people in 2016. Email me for a free week of life coaching mindsdochange@aol.com

What is Fear?

What is fear? What does it do for us and what does it not do?

Fear and intimidation is only a smokescreen!! It blinds us, wraps us into a made up automatic story that we have on instant replay in our brain when we come up against something.  If we are faced with a situation that we say “oh crap, I can’t do that”, or “that is just to hard to do” then our automatic story laced with fear that confirms it is to difficult of a task to do comes playing in our head.  A smokescreen to verify our fear is what we do to ourselves.  When just on the other side of that smokescreen is the exhilaration, the fun, the love, the surprise and the accomplishment of the task! Get past the smokescreen, convince your brain you are safe and you are going to go for it and see what the outcome is.  The effort is well worth it, rather than staying still or stuck where you are.  We are meant to be in constant motion, we are meant to go forward rather than in reverse.  The joy you feel after going through that smokescreen is powerful and amazing.  It gives you the feeling and proof life is worth everyday we get here.

Let’s apply this to daily life.  Because I absolutely love the action work of applying what we learn.  This is where so many of my clients and myself slip up. We wait patiently on the couch or in the house for things to change without doing any steps to improve it.  In any company you work for, you are essentially selling a product or yourself to get people to like you or buy from you. Right? Take multi-level marketing. When we buy into this company we automatically think our up line is going to help us make the big bucks.  Whether we like the product or not we are in it for the dream of residual income.  Now in my experience working with MLM clients that want to make it to the top, if you don’t have some sales or “wins” in the first 30 days then the momentum slows down. Excuses pop up like my up line won’t help me like they promised, or no one wants to buy from me, I can’t find anyone that wants to join my team.  Ok, while these can be valid points, I also see the up lines view.  A great, incredible up line is not here to hold your hand. That is the smokescreen you have to get through.  A great up line teaches you to be your own leader. You are essentially joining a company to become the next great leader. You don’t want to build a team of followers, you want to build a team of leaders that will in turn teach others to lead.  This really should be included in the sales pitch.  IF you are open to learning and doing the self improvement you will make strides in MLM. That is why so many love the industry, it is life changing IF you can get past the smoke screen, do the inner work and outside results show up.

The best example I can come up with is when I was working with an MLM company our up line was accessible to us. She lead us, she didn’t babysit us. If you produced numbers then you got attention. I didn’t understand until she shared her story with us all. When she first started with the company she was young.  I believe she was in college and to make extra money she sold bibles.  She was relatable because she was so shy, she had an accent, exchange student, and what I loved is she would literally hide under the table at shows to not have to talk to anyone.  She avoided what she had to do to make money.  She went through the motions everyday, she read the bible, so she could answer questions, she did the ordering, she did all the work to be prepared to sell her bibles door to door or at shows.  The only thing she didn’t do was the actual work to make the money, she hide behind the smokescreen. She was prepared, she knew what to say, who to say it to, how long it could take to sell a bible, but she just couldn’t open her mouth to sell it.  I laughed because I was shy too at one time. I would turn bright red if someone talked to me that I didn’t know. How many times have you done all the paperwork, read all the materials, did all the busy work but when it was time to open that mouth to speak you froze? Then you wondered why it isn’t working?

You are being to hard on yourself, this is simple A to B movements.  A can be all the busy work but B is the actual action that comes from your words, thoughts and beliefs.  Throw those shoulders back and look up and go for it! Walk through that smoke screen everyday, sometimes over and over in one day, to get what you want in life! We have to complicate the most simple things, we are all leaders, we are all very capable of success.

I am often asked to join this team or that team because I would be so good at MLM. I was good at it, I got what you had to do to be a success, but I found I can inspire, teach and help others more.  I enjoyed that process more than doing it myself.  We all have our own specific talents, we all have a gift.  For example, I had a friend that did nothing but mow lawns and landscape.  We would say hey do you want to go out for dinner tonight and he would say no he wanted to go to landscape appointments. We would think he was crazy back then. Before to long he began to get awards for best looking yards for his customers, he was getting recognized for what he loved to do.  It came naturally for him, that was his gift. Take what you truly love to do and do it to the fullest, help others with what you enjoy doing and before long a new path in life will come about.  If those that doubted you needed proof, use that to lift them up and show them how you did it too. Go for you dreams, I can not say it enough. It is never to late, it is not just meant for some people, it is meant for everyone.

~much love to you all

We Are All Stars

If you think about the shape of a star you can make it look like a human being.  It is said we are all made from stardust and starfish need water so we are essentially made from above and below.  What does that mean for us special people? That means we are all unique, we all have our own beautiful unique talents that should be shared with those around us.  The potential we all have is amazing if we would just release the fears we all have about ourselves.

star shaped
we are all stars

I absolutely love science it reminds me of how unique and special we all are.  We are the same age as the universe because matter can never be created or destroyed.  There exists an area so unfathomably large that humans refer to it simply as space.  The ocean in a way is similar to space with it being as vast and unexplained.  Your shadow is a confirmation that light ahs traveled nearly 93 million miles unobstructed, only to be deprived of reaching the ground in the final few feet by you.  IT takes a whole ocean and the moon to erase your mere footstep on the sand.  90% of your body mass is in fact, stardust, because all the elements except for hydrogen and helium are created in stars.

 

Do you need more proof of how unique we all are? Here are some other science facts this am some animals have the ability to freeze solid during winter, than in the spring and remain perfectly healthy.  Look up aerogel, it is also known as frozen smoke, it is the world’s lowest density solid, checking in at 96% air.  If you hold it it’s practically impossible to see or feel, but if you poke at it, it feels like Styrofoam.  It supports up to 4,000 times its own weight and can withstand a direct blast from dynamite.  IT is the best insulator in existence known to us so far. Our daughter came to us this weekend with these: a blue whale’s tongue is about the size and weight of a fully grown African Elephant and outer space smells like steak and hot metal.  And a fact about our brains, our small brains that are so important and mysterious.  When we are awake, the human brain produces enough electricity to power a small lightbulb.

Have I turned into a science teacher? No, I think sometimes we need to be reminded of just how amazing we truly are.  We are all unique with our stories but the same in make up.  Every person can listen to music to help repair our brains.  Emotional pain refigures the human mind, causing dramatic changes in most people.  People spending time in the sun are more happy.

You can “rewire” your brain to be happy by simply recalling 3 things you’re grateful for every day for 21 days.  I encourage my clients instead of seeing something as a problem look at it as a challenge, you are more likely to overcome it and be motivated to solve it instead of sitting in it and doing nothing about it.  When you begin to think you are ordinary or can’t overcome something.  Look up fun facts to remind yourself nothing is impossible in this world.  It just takes a different perspective sometimes, learning new things and expanding your own mind.  Action steps make a world of difference to get to your goals.

~much love to you today