Fear Taking Over Your Mind?

It is always best to do the opposite of what your fear is telling you to do. It is the weekend!! What are you going to do now that the weekend is here? Are you going to write down some clear cut goals with dates to achieve them by and get to working on them? Or you going to enjoy the weekend to its fullest and put off some of those goals? Either way is good it’s just do you want to be closer to your dreams or do you want to dream about them a little longer? Action steps, no matter how small helps every single day! On the other side of this little tiny fear monkey that sits on our shoulders lies freedom, happiness and just feeling great!

Maybe you feel or say to yourself “I’m stuck” I will never  be able to get out of this mess. Whether the mess be financial, relationship, or health. Here is one trick that seems to work for everyone I share it with. When you are facing a stack of bills that are your financial responsibility and you feel down, depressed, angry, sad, or maybe desperate and it’s difficult for you to even face. That is fear talking to you and through you! Identify it, name it as fear and stop the feeling. You are feeling that way about a piece of paper, about an energy that we should be happy about. Why would you be happy about a bill? Well, did you enjoy having your power this past month? Gas to keep you warm or cook with? It’s the little things we take for grant it sometimes, feeling thankful for having people trust you enough to let you have those things is great. Now when we live paycheck to paycheck and an emergency comes up and we can’t pay those other bills that is stress. Not fear, fear makes you run from it, stress makes you creative and come up with ways to handle the situation. Write down all your debts, go ahead and write them all down, look at them in the black and white. Total them up, think oh my goodness, that is a lot! And then use that stress to help figure out how to get them paid off. It is amazing, I have had so many clients do this, number them by importance to get paid off and money opportunities start to open up. New doors open, with some action steps of looking for new avenues to get money they gain momentum and guess what it is no longer that big of an issue anymore. You begin to be able to cross off those debts on the list, better feelings start to surface, and your overall courage rises. You did it!!

Doing this exercise with finances or health issues looking for ways to be pro active opens up your physical, emotional and spiritual avenues inside yourself. This is helpful because that dreadful feelings places a blanket over your head and you can’t think or see straight.  Just breath and live in the now moment, pray, believe it is better than you think, and solutions with some work are right around the corner. Go for a walk, talk to a trusted person for encouragement, dance, journal or sing as loud as you can to some upbeat music. Anything to change the vibe you are putting out that consists of lack, you don’t want to have more of that come to you.

Can or Do You Control Your Fear Fantasy?

Never ever let your fear shape or decide your future. Get a handle of this false evidence appearing real. The best example I can give is when you watch scary shows or movies and are laying down at night. You think you heard something, you see a plant move or power flickers you fear automatically kicks in. Why? We are allowing that part of our brain kick into overdrive, our heart rate goes up, we get paranoid, we begin to LOOK for more evidence to support that fear and we freak ourselves out! This fear is making the wolf bigger than what it really is. We need to train our minds to breath, relax and think in a different way. Begin to see the air just kicked on so that could be the noise or reason why our plant moved, power flickers at different random times during the day. There are a million explanations for this but I will tell a funny story on myself to show you how this principle can get out of control.

It was a typical day in October last year, our oldest wanted to watch a scary movie at home and it was just her, the baby and I. I put the baby down for the night and we sat up and watched a scary movie, my husband worked a night shift that night so it was only us 3 in the house. After the movie I didn’t think it was that scary. It had a couple of parts in it that surprised you but it wasn’t that bad. We went to sleep and I woke up early to take a shower. While in the shower I thought about one of the scary scenes and relived this moment in my brain as I shampooed my hair. I kid you not, the minute the shampoo went into my hair and I lathered it up the dang power went out!! Ok, power going out, in the shower, and scary movie in my head, yes you guessed it demons are now in my bathroom. I have the baby on the bed and oldest in her room. Are they safe is what I immediately thought? I jumped out of the shower and grabbed the towel, checked the baby who Is still sound asleep and went straight for the oldest bedroom. I swung open her door and in a panic said you have to come into the bathroom with me! Or at least lay down with the baby! She looked at me like I was crazy, I just woke her up with my fear fantasy going on and she said what happened? So I told her and she immediately started to laugh, and it made me stop and look at the situation. My fear fantasy had gotten way out of control in a matter of seconds. Has this ever happened to you? I checked my mindset and put it back into perspective while we laughed about it. When I got back into the shower I was laughing at myself and how far I had let my fear based thinking go, how fast it can happen and how we can suck others into the drama too.

How can this fear fantasy affect us in life? Well when you begin to dwell on the negatives or fear based thoughts we begin to form beliefs around those thoughts. Those beliefs turn into a reality based show in our brains. We attach strong feelings of fear around the situation we are dwelling on and that my friends in how we materialize it in our outer world. Those feelings catapult that image into manifestation, so it is important we begin to check our fear fantasy right when it starts. We can have fears, we all do, but we check it with questions such as “Is this really what I want to manifest or do I want to manifest the opposite?” Begin to turn your attention away from the fear and more onto the positive outcome you want. Listen to some good feeling music, dance, write it out on paper and then tear up that piece of paper or set it on fire. Watch as the symbol of your fear go up in flames, or torn up into tons of small pieces that are thrown away. You are telling yourself your fear fantasy is no longer there, you just released it and it does not have a hold on you anymore. Exercise that feeling right out of you, get outside and take a walk or run. Nature does amazing things for our bodies, we need to be outside. Get control of that fear fantasy and make it better than you thought you ever could. Attract better things and attract a better life to yourself with your thoughts and actions. The opposite of fear is your courage, feed your courage, begin feeding it with being grateful in life. If you are in a positive state you can not be in a negative state at the same time. :)

~Nikki Tapscott

Fear, Feel It?

I am fearless, I am full of courage and I am called crazy by some people. Why? Over the weekend I sat at the table and journaled about my past. I decided to write down past fearless moments and many came to mind. All the risks and chances I took and why I took them. What caused me to turn the other cheek to all the fear based talking in my head and go for it?

What I came up with is during those moments in sports, trying new things, moving, taking a new job, childbirth, marriage, business and everything else I did I noticed while I was doing it I ignored my fear. I was laser focused on the task at hand and did it. If I let fear creep in I re-focused on a mantra, on a quote and pressed on until I accomplished my goal.  If I let fear creep in I knew I would stop in my tracks and that would consume me instead of my goal.

So refocus your mind. Train it to be positive, and go after what you want. Doubts on whether it will work or not should not even enter your mind. If you had the thought and wish in the first place then you can achieve it. My grandma use to tell me all the time, if you can dream about it, then God put that dream in your mind and heart and He knows you can do it. Just believe you can, and go after it.  That is the hardest step, believing you can do it!! Move closer to your overall goal and keep on going!!!!


Fear, What if…….

What if you could live a life with no fear?? What would you do? What are the top 5 things you would do? Go ahead get a pen and paper out or type in the space provided what would you do first?






What is holding you back? Is that feeling again? That feeling of worth? Feeling of failure? Did you know when you think of your goal and achieving it that is the first step? When you feel it in the pit of your stomach, that knowing feeling you can have it or do it. But your heart sends out the doubt feeling into the universe that is where we mess up.  Your feeling you send out, your core feeling whether it be a fear or the opposite of fear is what you get.  So get your heart in on your goal and get action steps towards it and this is the first step of living your life without fear.  Life is supposed to be fun and filled with experiences, good or bad, don’t let one feeling that doesn’t have to rule either of us keep you from that.

Ask and you Shall Receive

I always loved that quote when I was little. Heck who wouldn’t love it!! My grandma would always remind me “But be careful for what you do ask for because you will receive it eventually.” I always thought I could have anything I wanted in life, and who are you to tell me I couldn’t? But as I grew up I began to see the growth in wanting and asking. For example when you are little it was usually about toys, clothes or shoes. That is still true as adult but you might have little ones you think of first so your wants for yourself go to the side. Lines begin to get blurred in the wanting department and soon it just seems to slow down and come to a halt. Nothing begins to appear for us, it seems to go backwards, bills take all the money, kids take all the money for their expenses, cars need repair or homes. There is a countless list and the money seems to be in less supply then our want list. :)

But I think that is where our minds got off track, our minds only see x and y. If I only have so much X in the bank or my pocket then I can only have so much Y in my life. So, how do we get back to the Ask and You Shall Receive mindset? Change your view, change your perspective about the situations. Have faith in the possibility of receiving it!!! For example, things or objects or help comes in many forms, deals, coupons, gifts, unexpected finds, you just have to be open to other possibilities. There is always a way you just have to let go of the outcome of how YOU expect to receive it. Begin to say I don’t know how I will get —- I just know I have it and I am grateful for it. Then the ask and you shall receive has a creative way of coming to you. Ask and be prepared to get it!! That way the Impossible is possible and you will prove it to yourself over and over again. You become that magnet to receiving that the majority of us enjoy being. Be grateful for the gifts you receive, feel the excitement and joy and that is the stuff the miracles are attracted to!!

Much love to you all

I’m possible

The very word impossible is I’m possible. That is such a great reminder to keep in the back of your head when you think for a second you can’t do something.  For some women or moms usually (sorry guys, but this does apply to some out there now) we tend to get feelings of overload and balance our lives.  We often feel inequality in the work place or at home, or a lack of status and the work overload combined with domestic responsibilities in our homes.  At one point or another we have all experienced depression and insecurity.  If we can look at it in a more positive way then maybe we can get one step closer to our goals and achieving the possible.

Insecure is the opposite of confident, worrisome is opposite of faithful.  Depression is destructive while self-confidence and faith is constructive.  If we concentrate or focus more on how to build ourselves up, or how to explode our self-confidence and faith then we would get a heck of a lot more done towards our goals.

I’m possible at its very core of the word means faith. You have to have faith in yourself, in your abilities and in a higher power whether is it God or the Universe.  Faith is the juice that gives life, power and action to the impulse of our thoughts and ideas.  Faith is the starting point, Faith is the antidote for failure.  Faith is what moves mountains when mixed with action towards your goal.  When we choose to love our lives in faith, desires and hopes will magnetize to you!! You will begin to rise above the chains that are holding you down, but you have to start.  You have to start with even a little bit of faith that it is possible, that you are possible and believe I’m possible.

Much love you all

Impossible? I only see Possibilities

The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible and acheives the impossible

Why do we label things impossible? Who says they have to be impossible? What deems that this person gets this and this person doesn’t? IF you go back to the bible, it does not say this, it says we all can have what we need and want.  If you do Law of Attraction it is the same principle except it states we are not in the same vibration as to what it is we want.  Both say we can have it, so why do we limit ourselves into not thinking we can have it? 

Belief or Fear? Belief in not being able to obtain what it is we want? Belief others minds can not be changed so therefore it is a doomed circumstance? Belief that others words are more true than the little voice in our head telling us we can do it? That is where fear goes hand in hand with belief.  Fear of failure, fear of landing face down in failure, others opinions of you holding you back. Fear to speak up and go for what you want.  And what if you weren’t scared and you believed in yourself?? What could or would you accomplish? 

What are some of those wants or needs you really want to go after but aren’t? Is it a simple one of picking up the phone and making calls to fill your calendar up with appointments? Is it fear that is you are super successful then you have to take responsibility for your life in the present moment? Meaning if you stay in the position you are in right now, hiding behind the impossible excuse then you know the results already? You are comfortable? That is that little fear monkey jumping up and down on you again, stuffing you back into a life of being comfortable.  The same routine, same results.  

What if you did a 21 day challenge and did things differently? My daughter use to tell me all the time “mom, you can do anything for 21 days” Just start and go…. Maybe you have a huge dream of a big business.  Maybe going all out for 21 days is to scary or intimidating? LIke a New Years Resolution. Well then take the focus off that and do something else.  For example you want to be making $8,000  month in your business but you just can’t seem to stay consistent with the activity to do it.  Then my advice would be make a commitment to exercise 3 to 4 times a week.  Now you are probably asking “Nik, what the heck does this have to do with making my money?” Ha-Ha, EVERYTHING!! If you can do something for yourself first then you can do anything!! Making a commitment to yourself first is the most important thing you can do. Exercise will do so much for you!! Give you energy, confidence, health, and show you that you can do anything.  I’m telling you it is a key to so much life changing stuff.  It is a key that will open many doors, even 20 minutes a day will make a huge difference in you and your circumstances.  

When I first started I made a chart that I hung on my refrigerator that had 21 columns on it and then I wrote in what exactly i expected from myself on each of those days.  Such as drink 5 glasses of water, stretching, running/walking, weight lifting, swimming, hiking, eating more fruits/veggies, and so on.  I made a point system, for each thing I accomplished I gave myself 5 points.  Then I had a subtractor things such as if I drank more than 1 Dr Pepper in a day I subtracted 15 points.  I missed exercise I subtracted 15 points.  I tell you what you get competitve with yourself.   You can spark a passion inside of you again that you had when you were younger.  At end of 21 days I felt a ton better and if I made my points goal I got a treat such as new shoes, or something else I wanted.  This evolves into going after goals in your business too. :) then the Impossible is Possible!! 

Much love….

Opinions… Got One?

Opinions are like a**holes, everyone has one….. I heard this all the time growing up.

What makes someone’s opinion more important than your very own? How they view you, how they think about you, how they think you should live your life? Maybe some of it comes from us as children wanting to please, or do what our parents want us to do. As we grow into an adult we lose ourselves and our own identity transferring onto our spouse or loved one and value their opinion more about us and our lives than our own little voice.

For example, I was told by my own child a couple of things.  First I was in shock about what she was told about me and second I really did some soul-searching on how I would absorb the information into my own brain.  How would you respond to your own child if he/she came up to you and said “So and so told me about what happened to you as a child, I am so sorry mommy, that is awful.” “so and so said that being a stay at home mom means you are worthless, you don’t do anything all day long, and I can’t believe they said this about you, you work hard everyday mom. But I was told I should want to be more of a person than you because you wasted your life.” Ok I know these are two “hot” subjects for some people, I have blogged a little before about these and my reactions.  But today I want to focus on how or why these other people’s opinions should NOT matter to me.

At first my gut reaction was to fire back but I took a deep breath and thought about my reaction.  What I say not only am I talking to myself but I am teaching a lesson to my daughter. She knows my attitude and firing back at people and the calmness I also have.  She was being sincere and looking for guidance on how people could talk so badly about the person she loves so dearly.   So I took the lesson of what others think and say about you, you don’t have to believe. Their opinions are theirs and I do not have to make it my own.  I asked her what she thought, how it made her feel to hear those things, what she believed for herself and not because of the opinion of another person.  Then I explained how the only opinion that mattered is who I made it matter to me. For example,  her opinion matters to me because I make it matter.  My husbands opinion matters to me and a handful of selected other people.  For the most part, I pick who I want to listen to, who I value as a smart, kind and caring, and who I do not.

How do you let the opinions of others roll off your back? Look at celebrities, they are some of the best teachers.  Even though we “little people” don’t have our names, pictures or business all over the weekly entertainment magazines our business is spread by word of mouth and social media sites.  You in essence become a “celebrity” through your popularity on social media.  You will have haters and followers it comes with the territory.  When haters come to hate you can look at it as “poor thing, they really have a lot of hatred inside of themselves to say all that” a mirror reflection standpoint of what they say out loud bad about you is a reflection of how they really feel about themselves.  Or dang they are really lost souls, they should be infused with some love. I don’t spend a second wondering what the heck happened to them to have so much hate inside them.  I actually say a little prayer helping me release what they said about me and ask for something good or love to enter into their lives to make it better.

But what happens when they really say something to get under your skin, one sentence? One belief you had about yourself and they said it out loud? What do you do when it really hurts you? Hearing those words from my daughter was not easy. It really hurt me, I sat and thought I do more in one freaking day taking care of our family then you will ever do in your whole pathetic life. I thought who are you to tell her something that happened to me as a child and last I checked you weren’t there, you weren’t there when the abuse was happening, how do you know enough to tell her? You don’t you are no better than a cock roach on the bottom of my shoe you spread lies, hatred and deceit every where you go. Not only did you teach me I should be a stay at home mom, because you wanted NO ONE to take care of our child when we were married, you deflated the balloon of me wanting a career for myself by drilling into my head there is no more of an important job than sacrificing yourself and staying home to be a mom.  Now you want to tell her I suck, I am nothing because I have done what you drilled into my head? See how I let their opinions even 15 years ago change my life?  I lost myself I lost who I was in that marriage. I endured abuse during that marriage too and when I did find myself finally and leave the marriage, all these years later I have grown and this person has stayed the same.  I had to really look at why I let this persons opinions matter over my own still. The bottom line is when I could cut that this persons opinion is like an a**hole saying I was able to really look at them for who they are. They mean nothing to me. I think really knowing for a while how much he and she hated me, how selfish they are, how narcissistic they are really opened my eyes.  I could see them that way because I had embraced that part of myself.  I saw the things I really disliked in me in them and I could release the hatred. Releasing the hatred is only healing for myself, it has no effect on them. As a result I can think clearly, have more positive energy every day and go after my dreams and goals in a healthier way.  They and their opinions no longer are taking up the most space in my mind.  And that my friends is the real blessing out of all of this.  Learning the art of not absorbing what others think of you. The blessing of living your life to the fullest even with your haters.  IF you have haters then you are doing something they wish they could be doing.  If you have haters then at least you have a following. If you have haters, you are doing something in life right. It just comes with the territory. Even Jesus had haters, so feel loved, feel accepted, feel happiness everyday deep inside of yourself. Don’t let the beliefs of others mess with you!

Much love….

What Will You Do To Succeed?

What are you willing to do to succeed? It’s a mindset that you develop everyday, you fight to get, a fight you go through with yourself with other things look more “fun” to do.  This is why you do all the hard work first thing in the morning, whether it be to write, phone calls, emails, bills, or other responsibilities you need to get done to free up your day to work on your dreams and goals. 

Copy, paste, or write this down….. 

Why do I succeed? I suceed beacuse I am willing to do the things you are not.  I will fight against the odds.  I will sacrifice.  I am not shackeled by fear.  Insecurity or doubt.  I feel those emotions- Drink them in and then swallow them away to the blackenss of hell.  I am motivated by accomplishment. Not pride.  Pride consumes the weak-kills their heart from within.  If I fail– I will get up.  If I am beaten down– I will return.  I will never stop getting better. I will never give up–EVER.  That is why I succeed…

F-E-A-R has two different meanings and points of view

1. Forget Everything And Run 

2. Face Everything and Rise

The choice is always yours in every decision and situation in your life.  Which will you pick? Rise up and grab your goal and work at it every day.  Everyone is beaten down at some point in their lives.  Everyone thinks their struggle is the end of the world.  they allow others to steal their passion for life.  No more, get your passion back, get your booty back in action and go after what it is you want.  There is always a way!! Heck email me and we will talk and get you on the right path.. :) You have to get your mind in a winning attitude again.  Do you think Floyd Merriweather (boxer) has the attitude or doubt he will loose a fight? Do you think he dwells on maybe this oppenant is stronger than me? No, Heck NO!! He goes in with studying his opponent, he trains for success, for winning.  He visualizes himself winning.  Get in a winners mindset, in an unstoppable mindset and you will win!! 

Much love,


Baby Steps

I know that I can create miracles in my life ~Louise Hay

Do you remember when you were little? I mean I look at our almost 2-year-old and see her learning new skills, speech concepts have to register in her brain, and she takes it from there.  Walking and running she learned how to do on her own and then I look around at many people and hear the same thing.  Myself has been included in this many times, teens and tweens too I hear “I don’t know how to do it, I don’t know where to start or It just seems to overwhelming.”

Ok, why is it that our 2-year-old can do it without asking these questions of herself or us? She just practices and practices until she masters it.  And it is that simple my friends.  As we grow up we learn to take on many tasks at once. So in a way we do feel overwhelmed, everything around is cluttered and in our minds we don’t focus.  What’s a 2-year-old have for stress? What does she have as a deadline? IF you think about it, her brain in taking in a lot more stimulus than we realize, she is absorbing everything around her, all five senses going at once.  We as adults have forgotten to tune in and not get overwhelmed.

To set yourself up for success and feel good about it you have to enjoy what you are doing.  Or it is just that simple you won’t complete what you want to do.  For example, I really wanted to start working out again.  But with kids, a house, my own school work, the kid’s school stuff, sports with the kids and a baby running around it was hard for me to carve out time to get to the gym and work out.  Married to a strength and conditioning coach you would think I could work out while he watches her for a little bit. :) So I did the next best thing, I bought some stuff for here at the house, when she is asleep (best time to work out) I get what I can in.  It wasn’t something I really enjoyed at first but I felt like I really needed to do it.  So I just started, some days I could get a full 20 minutes in and some I had to break it up into segments all through out the day.  Doing squats before I get in the shower, stretching while blow drying my hair, you know multi-tasking at it’s best to get it all in.  I do feel better and that now in turns makes me want to get some exercise in during the day.

If you break it into smaller pieces, what ever it is in life you want to do it is soooooooo worth it!! Don’t let the fear of the “it’s to hard, or the unknown” stop you from living your life to the fullest.  Work a little each day and you will soon see the benefits of your progress.  I promise if you go for it and work consistently you will have success!! No matter what it is you want. Keep your eye on the prize and go for it!! As much as you can every day!

Much love