Sometimes the bad things in life put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us. I can not say it enough, no matter how negative or bad a situation is there is the complete opposite waiting to happen for you. I love the analogy of how deep down you go is how far up you will rebound. Heck I have a lot of rebounding to do and hovering way up at the top for awhile! 🙂
Yesterday we talked about hitting rock bottom and how it is actually a good thing in our lives. It is like an awakening for our mind, new fresh ideas, and maybe even a determination for a new direction.
I was asked to elaborate a little on what I was talking about yesterday with change in focus. First lets talk about focus, have you ever met a kid that is so focused on what they want? Our youngest will literally ask for a cookie over and over and over and over until you get her one. There is no changing the subject, there is no saying I am on my way to the kitchen to get one for you, it is “can I have a cookie now?” One track mind, one focus and determined she will be tasting that cookie ten seconds ago. Have you ever experienced this? Can get on your nerves especially if it can I get a toy? And you are not anywhere near the toy store. Over and over and over again the same words, the same sentence until you either give in, say no it’s not happening or it gets on your nerves.
Ok, now keep this example in your mind for a minute. As adults we tend to downplay our actions and think we do not act like this at all. When we are driven to make our sales goal, our savings goal, or any of our positive goals that contribute to not only you but others as well we tend to get encouragement correct? IF you are part of a sales team and as a whole group you have a goal everyone is talking about it, dwelling on it, coming up with ideas on how to achieve it, right? If you are part of a weight loss group and all of you are all about losing that weight, dropping those numbers, toning that body then it really doesn’t get on anyones nerves when you talk about it all day, they want to help you achieve your goals. They ask questions, offer suggestions and some even become a huge support group for you. It’s as though you have your own cheering section in life.
Now the other side of the coin, when you dwell on what your spouse or kids are doing, It isn’t making anyone happy around you, it isn’t making anyone’s world better by listening to the same story over and over again. It is making you miserable, pissed off and repelling people away from you. When I talked about my client yesterday that was so focused on her ex and what he was doing she didn’t see how it was affecting her life and those around her. She didn’t see the point of other people didn’t want to hear it all the time, she was so wrapped up in it, blinded by her negative focus. We can do this with finances, our kids, our spouse, co-workers and school. Are you wrapped up in a story that is weighing you down? Is it a weight on your shoulders and you can’t seem to get it off? The simplest exercise I do with my clients is making an agreement to not think about it, speak about it or even turn its way for one hour a day.
Why do I do this? If we start simple easy steps then we can prove to ourselves we can do it. We need to build this momentum up for when I ask for a full day of not visiting that drama. We can begin to access how you feel when you gave yourself a break from the issue. I ask certain questions and listen to your answers and nine times out of ten we always feel better when we just lay the issue down. When we can release it, we can change our perspectives and thus change the outcome in our own lives.
Let me go one step further, I have some followers from a blog one moms battle on facebook page. So many of those moms are stressed to the max with court drama. My heart goes out to parents in court system, it is not fair at all. My biggest lesson was when I expected others to be fair with me because I am fair and a good person. I completely fooled myself. That is truly like walking up to a lion and not expecting him to eat me because I didn’t eat him or expecting a bull to not attack me because I am a vegetarian. But even though I was hurt, was disappointed by others behaviors I had to release and let it go. I had to learn the lesson of just because I treat others fairly, I look at their point of view, access the situation and do what I think is right for all parties, not everyone lives this way. My bubble was popped, but I did recover without having to dwell on it. I got my perspective changed in a huge way, I recovered and I am still going strong. You can take this analogy and apply it in business, school, friends and family.
If you are having a bump in the road, a drama swirling around you today, just take a break from it for an hour at least. This frees up your mind to look for ways to solve the issue. It takes the focus off it and turns it onto a problem solving party. All the answers lie within you, just ask yourself and listen. Sometimes the signs are given to you outside of your intuition through a quote, post on social media, or just because you ask yourself what would it take…. instead of asking how can I…..
~much love to you all