If science hasn’t fully discovered the power of our brains and so many of us are on a self help journey then I have come to believe our brains are a beautiful mess inside of a hard shell. We store so many memories that we realize and don’t realize. Our sensory input is going on all day without us even being aware of it. To watch our 3 year old in a new atmosphere and see how she can have sensory overload is incredible to view. When she overwhelmed, taking her out to a quiet place to decompress and allow her senses to return to normal is amazing. That is just one piece of what all our brains do.
So then why it is so hard to just fix what is bothering us. Why can’t someone come up with the formula to fix it now? If we just fixed it now then we wouldn’t have this incredible journey called life. For those that want it fixed, it does take some time, clearing the road blocks we created in our mind and hearts. For example you got your heart broken when you were younger. Now that you are older and you want a stable, dependable, trust worthy and loving relationship you find resistance in your heart and mind. You are so use to putting up walls around yourself, you are guarded and it has been like this for a really long time. You find the one person you want to be with but you just can’t let those walls down just yet. You keep them at an arms distance, or you just can’t put your heart fully into this relationship. The other person feels the vibe of you holding back and assumes you just aren’t into him/her. What now? Well those pesky little road blocks are what you want to dissolve right now, right? Where is that formula when you need it the most? Why can’t you just let that guard down? Because your mind remembers that heart break, you have made a vow a long time ago that you will never ever get hurt again and you have been running on that blindly for years. When you challenge the long held belief that you have had for so long you run into resistance. And what is that old saying? What you resist, persists. It just keeps on going and going until you no longer resist it anymore. So what do you do now?
You begin to reform your core belief. Instead of saying, believing and feeling I will never have my heart broken again, you begin to trust yourself. You begin to believe in yourself and your choices again. You got away from trusting your own judgment, instead if you don’t get into another serious relationship ever again then you won’t have to trust yourself again. Now that you do want that relationship it is up to you to begin to trust. Begin to feel that love you have in your heart, to say it might of been true back then but this belief no longer serves me. Love is truly the most powerful feeling there is. Begin to affirm you do have the most loving, harmonious relationships with everyone and yourself, there is mutual love and respect and that no matter the outcome you are safe. You trust in yourself.
Because the reality is with the love the opposite is pain. Everyone has encountered having their heart broken by death, breakups or mental illness such as dementia or disease. Those experiences as painful as they are should help you realize that you are amazing. That you can love someone that deeply and in turn you are capable of loving yourself that deeply too. We can not control what others do or don’t do, we can’t control if someone has a disease or illness but we can just chose to love. If they don’t want your love anymore that is ok. There is someone out there that does and loves you back. Love deeply and fully and your life will be so much better.
Here is an example I can give from my own life. I fully love each one of my children and step children. They are my heart and soul and I love them deeply. I know my ex reads this post and at this point in my life there isn’t a lot more that can be done to hurt me as deeply as they have. But I have come full circle and have began to trust myself again and not so much their hurtful words anymore. When I was so focused on buying a new home, moving, kids stuff, and paperwork I was truly in one of the best feeling states of my life. I was positive, I had a successful blog, I was moving our family into the best situation possible. I was truly in a great place in my heart and mind. Then guess what? During this time I was oblivious to him cheating and pills. His injury hide the pills for a long time but I had no clue about the cheating at first. Then the day came and he got caught with many things that I no longer could ignore or put up with. That moment shattered my whole belief system. I mean how in the world could I have been in such a great place, manifesting many impossible things to people on the outside, making our lives better, making my feeling place of love so high and all this was going on around me. It broke me down a lot, I made me question years of self help studies, action steps and guides. It made me question the core of my being and what I know is right. Could I have made a declaration that day that this would never ever happen again? Have a hardened heart? Yes I could have but I chose to see this situation in a whole other light. I infused light on it and understanding. I understood why he did what he did. Did I like it no, did I have to put up with it no, and did I? No. I chose to move on and find what I knew was true for me in my heart. I still operate with a full open heart, I am working on some of the blocks I have, because no one is perfect but I chose not to shut down completely. Was I devastated? Yes, was what yet to come even more devastating? Yes, I had my heart ripped out, stomped on and left to die. But still inside of me, a flame of hope, love and I am going to make it burned even brighter. The old saying of what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, well a beast was unleashed inside of me. A beast that declared no matter what I will figure this out, make it and live my life happily and lovingly. Everyone has their pain in their lives, everyone has a choice to stop their life flow or keep it going. If you can remember nothing ever stays the same, it just changes with time, it makes the difficult times a little easier. So this to will pass, this difficult time will pass and if you keep an open mind and heart, new positive possibilities and changes are on the way.