There have been some pretty amazing lessons I have learned in these past two years. One of the biggest one that keeps re-occuring for me is this one: there are few things in life that will destroy your sense of self worth more completely than doing something simply because someone else wants you to do it their way. When you finally get to the point in your own head that their way is now your way regardless if you agree or not is the most dis-empowering moment for your own sense of self worth. So where does that leave you when the other person seems more powerful? More successful? Maybe they have something you want really bad and you have to play by their rules to get it.
Growing up I was groomed to act a certain way, I was groomed to not speak about secrets in our family, I was groomed to think and act a certain way to be loved. I’m sure the song “shine bright like a diamond” might have a different meaning than this post but I think of it as you begin to live a life that is no longer what you want inside yourself. You take your own shine, your own shimmer out of your core, out of you, you take the what makes you special out of you and hand it over to someone else. You lose it because you have now convinved yourself it is ok for someone else to decide who you are, what you are about, what you can do in life (often alot less then what you are capable of) and you open the floodgates to a life of feeling powerless and worthless. Maybe you are stuck in a rut of thinking how in the world did I get here? This is not how I want to live… Or this is not how I pictured my life at all… you can make the choice to continue to live this way or you can now wake up and begin to see you have your own mind, your own options, your own way of believing how you want your life to be. It doesn’t mean throw everything to the side, it just means you are now aware and can move forward and begin to take control of your own life. I always loved this quote “Close your eyes and imagine the best version of you possible. That’s who you really are, let go of any part of you that doesn’t believe it” Including other peoples views, opinions or words about you that you hold on to. Let those be their thoughts and opinions, you do not have to believe them. That is your own choice to choose.
Begin to evaluate some of your beliefs about yourself. What words do you use to describe yourself, is it your own thoughts or are they beliefs you adopted from someone that is or use to be important to you. So often I hear my ex use to say this about me. Well he/she is your ex for a reason aren’t they? So why are their words still floating around in your head? You must have put value to them in your own head to adopt them. Get rid of the beliefs and negatitivity if you have rid yourself of the relationship. Sounds harsh but it is true. Don’t let them still occupy space up there in your mind, kick them out too!! 🙂 Begin to question where your beliefs came from and sort them out. Sort them in catagories such as do I really believe this? If not let it go… I believe this because this is so and so’s belief not mine but I adopted it because at that time it sounded good… kick that one out too 🙂 Really begin to see and your world will be different in a good way. It will be different because you chose it to be that way. Ask for guiandence from God or the Universe which ever you believe in.