Secrets of Abuse

I can only hope and pray my “haters” are reading todays post because this one has helped me today.  I was reading a post by a gentleman that is an advocate for childhood abuse survivors this morning and when I read these lines I couldn’t help but reflect the past 10 years of my own healing.

Here is what I read:  You do not have to be silent.  Tell anyone and everyone you want to if it helps you to heal from this awful situation.  You were groomed to believe that you must be silent to protect the family. Why would you be asked to protect the family from this terrible secret?  It only continues the cycle of abuse…again this is not placing blame on you.  If silence makes you feel better, then by all means, do what makes you feel better.  But from what I know, silence only makes it stew inside of you, continuing to make you feel like a victim, and creating illness in your body – physical and emotional. 

I was asked to clarify why I broadcast my healing through a blog.  Why I don’t do it the “normal” way in therapy and why I am wrong to do it through public writing.  First and foremost coming from people who have never had abuse in their lives according to them.  They are “perfect” human beings, I mean they must think they are perfect because they cast so many stones at me.  I won’t go into their views of me because honestly they can not hurt me with their words anymore than the abuse  I have endured over the years at their hands and my own.

What I am getting at here is, they have said multiple times why do this publicly? It shows you are unstable because I don’t do it their way.  To me you are telling me to keep my mouth shut.  Again another person in my life that I trusted at one time is now telling me to keep my secret a secret.  Instead of thinking more about how you think things should be why don’t you leave my healing up to me.  Are you an expert or just a person sitting in the bleachers? Have you done any research on this subject? Or you relaying solely on your brain and your views of they way it should be? Are you doing this or saying these things to temporarily get ahead because doing it this way will only make you fall that much more behind.  By telling me I’m wrong to speak out or speak up you are no better than an abuser telling me to be quiet and keep a secret.  Thought you wanted me to heal, that’s what you tell “important”people.  How is keeping a secret bottled up inside going to help?  Or is the bottom line this:  I’M NOT DOING IT YOUR WAY?



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s