I truly enjoy now that I am older the wisdom I receive from my mom. She is truly a gem and one of a kind. I am so proud to call her my mom and be able to say I am a lot like her. I received this email from her the other day. To me these emails are the best birthday present I could ever ge. I received words of wisdom that will keep giving in my life and others.
Have you ever thought about how open is your communication with your parents? I always thought when I was going through stuff at certain ages in my life, I found comfort knowing my parens did to at the stage in life. For example, I had my oldest daughter at 27, so did my mom. If you think about it, when I or you grew up did you know about the financial struggles, health issues, relationship problems your parents went through? Then when you go through them in your adult years there is a sense of aloneness. You aren’t aware your parents had the same struggles. As human beings we want to feel a sense of belonging, a sense of I’m not the only one. Once again my mom shared with me what she has learned in her years of growth. I share these simple words with you all because to me it is a gift.
Some lessons I have learned the hard way
It is really easy to believe that if we repeat a mantra or read enough books and wish hard enough that we can change where we are in life.
It is true that we have to re-wire our thoughts or change the way we look at things in order to shift to a new way of thinking.
I use the theory that when we really start down a path to change there is a key component that must be present if we really want to effect a truly long-lasting new way of being, having, doing—-. We must first be totally able to love where we are and who we are. We must embrace what we are doing, who we are with, what we are currently thinking. about ourselves and those around us. If we attempt to change where we are without first creating an atmosphere of acceptance of who, what and where we are currently, then we are moving without a foundation and therefore it is not a clear path. It is like running from a burning building straight into the woods with no path, lots of thorns, bushes, pot holes, logs, water and fear in our path. We ultimately wander around until we find the comfort of what we know which is what we just left.
I am not saying there are aren’t times that we have to make a decision to get out of a toxic situation, it is just that we cannot expect to have major healthy lasting change if we don’t accept what we are doing and embrace the good things about our life.
I have looked back on my life and realized the major changes I made in life were only truly effective if I worked on loving who I am, accepting my choices because I truly get that everything happening in my life was my choice. I cannot blame anyone else. It has been a huge stumbling block for me to accept that I am self-defeating myself by talking about, thinking about or acting in ways that show that I do not like where I am. My self talk is critical. I have to take the walk of reminding myself that I will draw to me the things I rage and think about. Not just my dreams, but also all the other things I am saying that are not healthy thoughts. I cannot force the change by wishing it to be.
It is such a small difference but with huge results to realize that I cannot just speak it, read it, and chant it into being. I have to truly accept me right where I stand, and find pleasure in it. No shame, no fear, no hurt, just believe in myself. To do otherwise causes the universe to receive mixed messages so nothing will truly change.
I cannot say one thing and then behave as though I am mad, hurt, fearful or wondering what others think of me.
It is truly like riding a bicycle up a steep hill. As soon as you quit peddling, you roll right to the bottom. Until I accept that I cannot race over or around the mountain, and create anything that is lasting. I will fall back into a pattern that continues to spin me out of control.
I remember my mother would say to me as a child, you beg and beg to go to the park, then when you get there, you immediately want to do something else. I finally get that I didn’t take time to enjoy where I am.