Been away for bit with this blog due to seeing my kids last week, finally!! 🙂 It was an incredible feeling to have them back in my arms and spending tons of time with them. So thankful for last week, words and emotions can not describe how much I love and miss them. For those of you that haven’t been following or don’t know I moved out-of-state. And apparently when a mom moves out of the state of California and the other parent does not want to encourage or cultivate a parent/child relationship with the move away parent, the move away looses a lot of their rights to their child. Even though I have never harmed, hurt or put my children in danger the stay in the state parent has more rights. Regardless of what they have done to me physically or mentally. 🙂 Oh, not suppose to go into specifics of the case so I can’t say much more in case for some reason my 11-year-old daughter finds my blog somehow on-line and reads this post. Or my ex’s or their stalkers find my post and decide to twist my words around and try to build yet another unsupportive case against me.
In a nutshell this is why my ex’s say I can’t have more time with my kids. Basically they used a “secret” not so secret anymore that my past childhood abuse makes me mentally unstable to take care of my children. When for 10 years of my daughter’s life I had her almost all the time, 24 hours a day until she was 5 then 50/50 every week from age 5 to 10. and I was the sole person who took care of my son until he was 4 months shy of turning 3. He is 3 now. They have bullied and intimated me a number of times and I guess think I will give up at some point. I don’t care honestly, it is their dime, they are the ones with attorneys, not me, I represent myself and so far have managed to hold down 12 units in school with A’s and B’s, be my own attorney and managed to still live my life happily. I can turn in tons of forms, get on court call to face them in court and it costs me nothing, but my time and sheer determination that I will never give up on my kids. When it costs them anywhere from $250 to $500 an hour. They can’t see that the attorneys are just taking their money, they won’t listen when a mediator tells them the court doesn’t care about their personal views of me. It is about what is best for the kids. So I sit back and listen to all their views and opinions of me, (which I am figuring out how to have tough skin and let it bounce off me now) let the court record all of it and put it in papers. Because one day it will come back to bite them on the butt. Instead of encouraging a relationship you are trying to take one away. You are doing the opposite of what you want to do people! But who am I to try to tell you something?
What I have seen so clearly lately that no matter what life struggle you have had in the past. There is always someone out there that is far crazier than you!! What I love about this whole “abuse” issue that keeps being thrown my way is. If you say I am mentally messed up, which a lot of people accuse victims of being. A stereotype here people, if one in three moms have been abused during their lifetime, we moms can’t be that messed up in the head! Then how is it you don’t think one of these times in front of the judge I am going to say what about you blacking my eyes and busting my nose? Hello!! Doesn’t that fall under spousal abuse? Doesn’t that make you an abuser too? What is the difference if my kids can’t be around the people of my past that abused me and yet you did it to me too while she was in the house?? What makes you any different? You are going to push this issue until I ask the judge that same question! You have far more to lose than I do. I only have gains from this point on! I have already been to hell and back a number of times, I have survived what you can only dream about. IF you choose o use my past against me you better get your story straight since you were there when I was little. You better do your research on your “secrets” that happened during our marriage that I can use against you!
To everyone out there, no matter what! Never back down from anyone trying to intimidate you or bully you! They are nothing but someone who has low self-esteem trying to make you be below how they feel about themselves. You are nothing to me, the only thing I care about is my kids. You are correct when you told me one dark night, YOU ARE ONLY A SHELL OF A PERSON, A COWARD AND YOU WILL NOT PUT YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT YOURSELF UPON ME. I do think and see you that way. You are hurting my kids bottom line.
If anyone else is going through this or has or maybe a storm is on your horizon. Let them throw as many punches at you as they can. Over time, their words mean nothing unless you want them to mean something. I am not afraid of any man, the only person I have to answer to is God and with that brings comfort now. We all have struggles in life whether it be people, finances or health. I say fear none of it! Let it be, hand over your struggles to a higher power and trust even though you may be fearful and keep putting one foot in front of the other. In our darkest hours, the best lessons are learned. Our personal inner strength grows if we let it and that makes you an even better person. Make your intentions from love and happiness, not from spite or anger. In the end the outcome is always better than expected.
Keep your head up! I am! And I still feel the holiday blessings and miracles in my life!