I keep being reminded of a valuable lesson in life lately. One that I didn’t fully understand until my little world seemed way to heavy for me to keep on my shoulders. I had in a brief moment in time been slammed with everything that people once close to me had thought was wrong with me. They threw everything at me but the kitchen sink. It was overwhelming at first but to look back over the past six months now I can see how the majority of what they said has dwindled away. With each confrontation we exchanged, with each court date that has passed a lot has just gone away.
To ride out the storm is one of the hardest but courageous things I have had to do in a long time. To keep trying to find peace among chaos, to find forgiveness when others are being so hateful, and to have faith that our court systems will do the right thing has been trying to say the least. I am still waiting patiently to see my kids, another block is trying to be made at this time for me not to have my daughter come visit me. Not because she is in any danger, not that I am not a good mom, it is because well basically her dad has lost sight of the true meaning of being a parent. You have to share with the other parent, regardless if you like them or not, it is still the other parent and you are only hurting the child. Our daughter is 11 years old, I have been in her life over 50% of every week, sometimes more if I volunteered at her school, I devoted every minute to her that I could. When I moved to another state I had lost my rights because that is just the way it is in a move away case. Due to the attorney not being able to come visit where I live physically, he put in a block for my daughter to come visit me. Even though I bent over backwards, sent him pictures of the house, offered to let a social services person or the chief of police to come into the house so they could write a report for him. I think that is way above and beyond considering how many parents move or buy a new house and the other parent is not invited over to come investigate it? I mean I still have no idea where her dad lives, never saw their house and was never asked or told anything about it.
I have learned to keep my sense of humor through this all and kinda be amazed at the crap he will pull to try to keep our daughter from boarding a flight to come see me. Oh did I mention it is all right if I come out to California to visit for a week, no blocking me then because I flew there to visit. It is just something in his control issue that will not allow her to fly or leave the state without him. What is he going to do when she turns 18? My goodness, tie her up and keep her at home? He keeps claiming she will have anxiety by visiting me because she doesn’t know anyone. Well hello, let’s see you went to Hawaii this past summer, she didn’t know anyone. Anxiety when you start middle school because that is new. Let’s see all kinds of things can produce anxiety. Well, let’s not forget, anxiety can be produced from a young girl who loves her mom, and can’t talk to her without being monitored at all times, she hasn’t heard any reasons on why I haven’t been back home to see her (grant it I have been there once and he blocked me from seeing her, then she was supposed to come in summer to see me and he blocked her then too) that can cause a high level of anxiety if I am not mistaken. I just don’t understand how you can lose sight of something so important to another human being. I can only pray and have faith that somehow this will be resolved so she can have us both back in her life on a constant basis.
I guess we will see what happens this Friday, I go to pick up my kids in California and bring them back for the holidays. So grateful I get to be with them, I miss them tons!!! Even with all the ugly words and feelings an ex can have for you, doesn’t mean you have to buy into their belief about you. He is entitled to his own opinion, as crazy as some of the stuff sounds. I do not have to own his words or become what he thinks I am. As my mom use to say, those that say hateful things about other people are really just reflecting what it is they hate about themselves. Hmmmm…… that’s a lot of messed up thoughts he has about himself. hahahahahahha
Have a great day today!